A Christmas Card from Canada

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year folk!

Hello folk, I thought with Christmas fast approaching, this would be a good time to get another ‘Letters from Canada’ sent out and with it pass on our seasons greetings.

As you may well imagine, life has not been standing still in the Blackwell household – chance would be a fine thing. We got our first snow a couple of weeks ago & since then another couple of ‘skiffs’ have blown through. For those not hailing from this part of the world, a ‘skiff’ is a wee snow shower, producing a couple inches of snow – in Northern Virginia, that would constitute a blizzard & all schools would be shut! So really, we haven’t had any proper snow as yet. What we have had the ‘girls’ have loved – exchanging the sticky Virginia heat, for crisp fresh Alberta air was the best thing that ever happened to them. They love the snow. As a result of their tear arsing about our tiny back yard, they have just about trashed it! The only saving grace at the moment is that the destruction is hidden by snow! Come spring, we have some SERIOUS gardening to do. Unfortunately when a 125lb Newfie tears round the garden chased by her little sister – a mere 98lb – not a lot gets in their way! For all that, I love to see them ‘burrowing’ in the snow & when you shout them they lift up their heads with a snow beard on pitch black faces – very funny.

The season & the snow bring with it another excuse to part with money & buy new cloths. Unfortunately Wendy’s office block is situated downtown, amongst some very nice, very expensive shops. All inside, all lovely & warm regardless of what is happening outside! Returning from work one evening, I’m told about this lovely little fur trimmed leather jacket – which is an absolute bargain…….. Don’t you just hate those words! I got suckered into viewing said jacket one evening, when I drove Dave & Dawn into Edmonton one evening to meet Wendy for dinner, shortly after their arrival here for a visit. The time for which had been cleverly booked to allow for some shopping! Of course we ended up at the leather shop & I had to see the jacket modeled. It did look very nice on Wendy, but I doubted the practicality of a jacked that finished just above your bum, to be worn in sub zero temperatures! Hey, what do I know! I weakened & asked if she would like it for Christmas……….. The assistant intervened & offered a special invitation to a sales event in a couple of weeks, where the jacket would be even further reduced – WHAT a bargain……… So, with my wallet safely locked away, we headed for dinner.

The Sunday of the special ‘sales event’ came round & we headed into town. We used Wendy’s parking permit & parked up right in the middle of town adjacent to the mall where the leather shop was located. We made our way inside & were met with ‘mayhem’!!!!!!!! On just about every flat surface on the mall floors & walkways were sat kids with Mum’s & Dad’s – dozens & dozens of them. We had planned to be in town ahead of the store opening to have some breakfast, shop for the jacket & then drive out to look at some houses. As we made our way over a walkway joining two buildings, there seemed no end to the assembled masses of kids & parents. I had to ask what was going on – a Santa Parade!!!!!!! Of course! So Tim Horton’s it was – if you haven’t discovered ‘Timmy H’, ask a friendly Canuck for an explanation. Coffee finished we headed back to the store, only to be ‘headed off at the pass’ by Santa & his posse. I’m sure he didn’t realize he was putting himself between a girl & a bargain leather jacket, because he didn’t pause with the ho ho ho’s!

We waited until he had passed on into the mall & we were off. Following close behind, tossing out the odd ‘ho ho ho’ to kids as we passed. It soon became apparent why there were so many kids of all ages there, the Elves were dishing out candy like it was going out of fashion & these kids were all on sugar highs!! We nipped round one corner, through a line of Mums, Dad’s & kids only to be headed off once more by the old guy with limited vocabulary – ho ho ho! By now our Wend was getting impatient & the old ‘dude’ was really pushing his luck. Then just as we got moving again, the security Nazis brought us to a shuddering halt – we had to wait until Santa had cleared the pedway (bridge over to the next part of the mall). We were told 5 minutes…………., about 15 minutes later, we received the all clear & were off once more. Over the pedway, round the corner & there was the leather shop – shut! Not only shut, but Mum’s, Dad’s & kids sat on the floor in front of the shop doors. Eventually they all cleared away & we waited for the store to open – the invite had said 10am. Unable to take the tension any longer, Wendy knocked on the doors attracting the attention of the staff. An exchange of shrugging shoulders & pointing at watches followed before discovering that the store did not in fact open until 12am – it was now a little after 10am!!!!!!!!! Long short, not a happy camper, no jacket and off we went house hunting!!!!!

As I mentioned before, we haven’t wasted time in house hunting – when I say we I do of course mean my ‘doll’…………. The place we are renting is ok, but it isn’t ‘home’. We had set ourselves a very high target before we moved up here, with regard to a house. We wanted our own land (acreage up here) & a purpose built log home. However, when you get up here & the house in VA doesn’t sell, you get a big dose of reality. The log home would still be ‘do-able’ but over a much longer time frame – approx 18 months, and that is way too long in a rented house and property up here is way more expensive that we first expected back in March this year. Wendy has spent hours scouring the internet for suitable properties & has now refined her search technique to just what we both want. Basically we need space, but that comes at a premium round here. Alberta is still in a boom & property prices have rocketed. However, I think the market has reached its peak point & is now on the decline. Basically our criterion was 2-5 acres & a 3-4 bedroom house under 5 years old.

Wendy found a couple of possible houses & we drove out to the West of Edmonton toward a town called Stoney Plain. Right from the early days of planning the move North, we liked the sound of the name & the town looked just the job. We drove to a small development Wendy had spotted on the internet which had a couple of new houses ready for sale. We drove past one & loved the front view & thought we’d take a wander round the property. As the house wasn’t occupied, we thought the car in the snow covered drive was one of the builders. There were no steps onto the front porch, so we stepped up, looked through the window & tried the door – locked. We were just looking round the front deck when the door opened & a lady asked if she could help! Talk about being caught out! She was there cleaning & we naturally assumed she was one of the cleaners – she was the owner doing a spot of tidying up after the builders! We felt such muppetts, caught out not adhering to my own maxim – don’t assume, check!

It turns out the Mona had built the house to her personal specifications, but due to her family ‘situation’ was selling & building the exact same house nearer her daughter a few miles further toward Edmonton. She was a lovely lady & invited us in to look round. It was a beautiful house, lots of room & fantastic views front & rear. The plot has a fantastic slope to the rear of the house, ideal for tobogganing with grandsons – if they should come to visit some time. Anyway, Mona gave us the run of the place & we had a good wander round. It was lovely, but wasn’t set up quite how we would have built it. The following week we arranged for the realtor dealing with another vacant new house on the same development to meet us to have a look round. We really liked the 2 properties, the plots were wonderful but the houses were a compromise. Quite frankly, who ever designed the main floor on the 2nd house we visited must have been smoking something……….. The ground floor had a dreadful floor plan, but the rest had possibilities. From there Wendy the realtor – now it does get confusing – escorted us to another two homes under construction. We were very impressed by the first, but fell for the second! We arranged to go out again yesterday & look over the house with the builders. It should be a beautiful home when finished & we are now in negotiations with the builders over the price. No we haven’t yet sold/rented our home in VA, no I don’t yet have a job – but why should that stop us, lol. Our view is that it will all come together or it won’t, so lets go along for the ride & see where it takes us. We took loads of photos & I sent out invites to view in Snapfish, if you didn’t get the invite & would like to see them, drop me a line.

It has been an amazingly hectic time for us since we arrived here & I can’t believe how much we have achieved. However, in amongst all the ‘hubbub’ I committed a cardinal sin, & forgot the birthday of my older Grandson! It wasn’t until Wendy turned over the calendar in the hall a couple of days into December that I realized my slip up. I would like to use this opportunity to say in front of all our family & friends who read my family blog – I really am very sorry Deryn! I tried to redeem myself by sending an e-card & later that week I called his Dad, my son Simon via ‘Skype’. Simon & I hadn’t been talking long when Deryn hopped up on Simon’s knee, & I thought we might have a little chat. I did the right thing again & ate suitable portions of humble pie, then I got – ‘my Mum says you are rubbish for forgetting my birthday’………………………. Guess that told me! Best I don’t forget next year!

In the very early days of starting a new life in the US over six years ago, it struck me how different our two languages are – English English & American English! Anyone who doesn’t believe me, go to a store in downtown Fredericksburg – our former home town - & ask for a ‘fanny pack’. Now go to a store in Telford Shropshire – where we lived in the UK prior to our move – and ask for the same thing! My guess, you will get two VERY different reactions. George Bernard Shaw is reputed to have said, “England and America are two countries separated by the same language”. This was beautifully demonstrated in a recent email from our good friend Tom Freeman when advising me to, ‘put my rubbers on when jumping into the snowdrifts’! It took a while to stop chuckling over that one – thanks Tom.

Finally, you will all be pleased to know that I have at long last managed to get the two cars through their Federal Inspections, the Out of Province inspection, and finally registered & tagged! Having pestered, cajoled & almost threatened RIV office in Ottawa, I finally received the correct Federal Inspection forms. I took the first car along & the examiner explained what he would be looking for, but first & foremost did the car have ‘day running lights fitted’……………. No it didn’t & that would have to be rectified before we could continue – this to the estimated ‘tune’ of $300-500 per vehicle! In the end a Ford garage re-mapped the computer in the Mariner, but I had to have a unit installed into the Jeep - that done, the Fed inspection took minutes.

Next it was the turn of the out of Province inspection. Again, the Mariner sailed through the inspection and a mere $175 plus GST for the privilege. The Jeep however, required a new windshield due to a stone chip picked up just after we crossed the border back in October. So inspection/windshield was another $500 plus!!!!!!!! After that another processing fee & registration complete. Both cars have now lost their distinctive Virginia tag plate’s front & rear, to be replaced by red on white Alberta tags at front only. I understand this was a cost saving initiative instigated by the Provincial Government some time ago. I have managed to negotiate a ‘stay of execution’ on the bike inspections until spring. I’ll ride in all weathers, but not in snow! So the bikes have been put in ‘hibernation’ for the winter.

Well folk, that is about it for another ‘Letter from Canada'. Wendy told me this evening that she finishes work on Friday for Christmas, I had no idea it was so close. It is difficult to get into the Christmas spirit having only been in town a few weeks & in a rented house. However, very good friends are taking us under their wings. Elaine & Mike have kindly asked us to spend Chriatmas Eve with them & thie family. While Karin & Dave have very kindly invited us to share their Chritmas Day dinner with us. Otherwise it would have been KFC!!!!!! We even have a party to go to on New Years Eve – can’t be bad can it.

I never did get used to the ‘politically correct’ woosy ‘Happy Holiday’ greeting whilst in the US. I don’t know why we all have to ‘tippy toe’ about for the sake of some sad individuals with an inferiority complex. We Christians are celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ – it’s Christmas, get over it! One of these days I really must get off the fence & say what I feel! Anyway - may I take this opportunity on behalf of Wendy I, to wish you all regardless of race, colour, creed, religion etc etc etc, a very very Happy Christmas & a wonderful 2008, and as always, ‘good night & may your God go with you’.

Hello again folk, it seems that my avid fan gets ever more impatient for another ‘Letter from Canada’. I opened my email today & read that the ‘blog’ had received another comment! That’s two! Mind you, I think there would have been more, had I got the settings right in the first place! So eager to see what someone had written I go to the blog, to be greeted with: Isn't it time for an update? :). Now I’m not going to embarrass the person concerned by naming names………….., ahh to hell with it, it was Melissa Gregory!!!!!! In order to avoid further chiding from my fan out there – here we go on an update and another, ‘Letter from Canada’.

I have now resorted to making notes for my letter, in order to make recall easier – when you get to my age you need all the help you can! So, what’s first on the list – oh yes, you’ll love this one fan, a tale of torment & woe. For her first few days in ‘big school’, I drove Wendy into the city & dropped her outside the office building on Jasper Ave in downtown Edmonton. We decided to do this until Wendy got her parking pass – Directors get that sort of thing you know! It’s almost like being ‘A’ based – for those in the audience who work at the Aussie Embassy. For those that don’t, call them at the Embassy for an explanation.

Anyway, I drove Wendy in for a few days but her pass appeared much quicker than she expected, & was thus forced into the unprecedented step of ‘driving to work’! Again those in the audience who know Wendy & I well, will know her reluctance to get behind the wheel & drive to work. I was her personal chauffeur for about six years! There she is, pass in hand & finally having to admit she will drive herself to work. I did the final drive into town and met Wend after work for some dinner. After which I carefully showed her the way to the car park – some 5 mins from her office – and drove out of the car park & home.

The following morning my little Director heads off to ‘big school’ under her own steam – scary stuff fan. I got a call from Wendy some time later, telling me she had finally got to work, but had got lost coming out of the car park & took a full twenty minutes to find her office. To say I fell about is something of an understatement, but I did try some sympathy……….. After telling her how to get from said car park to office, we rang off. I felt sure she would now be ok……………., but oh no!

Sometime after 6pm that evening I received a call from Wendy on her cell phone. I figured this was just a call to say she was on her way home, & I should slip into something comfortable for the evening……….. “I’m lost”, were I believe her opening words. For the men out there, Edmonton is laid out in a grid pattern not unlike DC or most major cities in the US, so in essence, very simple to get about. Edmonton has numbered Streets – running N/S, & numbered Avenues – running E/W. Additionally, there are a few named streets/avenues – simple stuff huh?

Thinking like a man, & understanding this simple grid system, I asked her where she was. Not a clue, came the response! Here is the picture folk, busy Friday night homebound traffic in the Provinces capital, wife is lost, still driving with cell phone clamped to ear! Not good fan, not good. After the initial response I told her to tell me the street/avenue at the next junction she passed. With that info, I quickly worked out that she was about four blocks from her office heading north, out of town. We live out in the south west! Having sorted that out, I got her to make two quick left turns to put her back on course and then, as she approached Jasper Ave a quick right. It was like a light had been turned on, “ahhh, I recognize this bit………..” I’m pleased to report that from there my dear wife made it safely home. However, up until a day or so ago she was still getting lost coming out of the car park by foot - got to love her all the same.

We also got to meet the neighbours a couple of weeks ago - both sets quite different from the ‘crowd’ in North Oxbow Court, but ok in their own ways. To one side we have a couple with a 10/12 year old son/daughter – couldn’t tell with the jacket & hat on and didn’t understand the name. Neither did I catch the ladies name, it sounded like something very ‘tree huggerish’ or French– if you know what I mean. I must ask again some time. She is obviously ‘vertically challenged’, & resolved to stand on a piece of fencing in her yard to talk to me over the fence.

Even with this assistance, she was barely able to look over the top. She had been curious to see the dogs, and was a little taken aback by the size of our ‘girls’. As a sort of apology for way the garden was systematically being destroyed by two galloping Newfies, I said I would have some work to do in the spring. “Yes’, she agreed, “it had been a lovely garden in the summer” – emphasis on the ‘had’ I seem to recollect. I hope we have shed loads of snow between now & spring – covers a multitude of damage.

On the other side, we have a very laid back couple, Norm & Holly. I soon discovered Norm – also vertically challenged or just plain short – has his own tyre business, with a couple of outlets in Edmonton. We had only just met out on the drive while I emptied groceries from of the car, & he came over to introduced himself. Not only that, but promptly invited us round for cocktails at about 7pm on the Sunday evening.

Sunday evening came round & we went round for ‘cocktails’, this turned out to be a euphemism for getting stuck into what ever you liked! Turns out Norm & Holly love entertaining & frequently have a house full. They are also very generous hosts & not at all backward in dishing out the booze in copious quantities. Not that I drink you understand!!!!! I only mentioned that my ‘tipple’ was single malt whisky, & for the remainder of the evening I was forced, forced I tell you fan, to sample about 6 different bottles of Scotland’s finest ‘falling down waters’. Wend played safe & stuck with G&T’s – several of.

We further discovered that our neighbours have no kids & way too much excess cash, which they love too spend. Without providing an inventory of all the ‘toys’, they have amongst other things a cabin on a lake, a newly acquired house in Palm Springs, his & hers snowmobiles & jet skis……… These guys are living life LARGE & good on them. On top of all that, they are a smashing couple & we look forward to getting to know them better – and trying the snowmobiles of course!

We have just bid farewell to our first brave visitors to the frozen north. Dave & Dawn hitched their Huskies to their sled & headed north on Thanksgiving, spending a little over a week up here. We spent the weekend together, before they headed off to look at some of the most spectacular scenery in Alberta on the ‘Icefields Parkway’. Prior to doing that, Wendy felt duty bound to show her very dear friend the sites of Edmonton and take her shopping to the West Edmonton Mall (WEM). To the non shoppers amongst you, that will mean absolutely nothing. To the ‘shopaholics’ out there, this must be a mecca. Now before going any further, I want to establish that my comment re mecca was not intended as a racist slurr against the Islamic religion. So I don’t expect to be dragged off to the Sudan, placed in jail or face a firing squad! To continue!

I declined the shopping trip to the WEM, even though it is either the largest or at least second largest mall in North America. Even though it has over 880 shops, an indoor fun park, ice rink, water park & theme hotel – I resisted. However, I did nearly crack at the thought of Sears and a stock of Craftsman tools…………………….!! On the Sunday with temperatures at about -12’C/10’F & a mighty northerly wind blowing, we took our guests sight seeing – what a giggle! I’ve never seen any two people looking so damn frozen! I’ll try & post a photo or two to demonstrate what I mean – I’m sure D&D won’t mind.

On the Monday, I took the intrepid frozen travellers to the airport where they collected a hire car & set off on sight seeing for a few days. We arranged to meet up again at a wonderful log built hotel, just outside of the beautiful Jasper National Park. Take a look at this link folk:

http://overlandermountainlodge.com/

With Wend at work & guests gone for a little while, I set about my household admin duties. One of which involved getting the recall carried out for my bike, before they it could be registered/inspected & had Alberta tags issued. I picked a lovely sunny day and a bracing -6’C/21’F, and then rode the six & a bit miles to our local Triumph dealer. When I got inside, the service manager told me that I was now officially a Canadian! No one else would ever ride a bike in these conditions…….. I still have to ride them to be inspected, but that will be another story.

As we are rapidly approaching the festive season, I feel moved to dispense some words of wisdom. As Ben Franklin once said – “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria”. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Therefore, as the season of eating drinking & making merry draws close, remember these words of wisdom when you are offered a drink & consider: Water = Poop, Wine = Health!! Merry Christmas and stay healthy!

Ok folk, that's about if from this edition of 'Letters from Canada', but I would like to leave you with one last bit of 'sillyness'. I claim no responsibility for the following link, which came via my dear daughter 'Pooh. However, if you laugh as much as Wend & I did, it has done it's job - enjoy:

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9636299894

Take care folk & as always, 'Good night & may your God go with you'.

Me n er.

Letters from Canada - First edition.

Hello folks. There is nothing worse than staring at a blank screen, looking for the words to start this piece. Even worse when I’m contemplating putting this into a ‘blog’ format – thanks Deb! I have created a ‘rough’ blog template, now all it needs is something in it! Simple really! But for some reason this first step, dipping the proverbial toes into the water for the first time, is a little scary. Ok, enough of the procrastination lets give this thing a go.

I think my email road trip diaries took us up to arriving in Edmonton on the 25^th Oct. It was a beautiful day, great big blue skies above us & very mild temperatures. The drive had been a long one, & we were really glad to be parked in front of 324 Lessard Drive at long last. I don’t know whether the hounds were as pleased, having been dumped into kennel as soon as we got to the area! Needs must I’m afraid.

All our worldly possessions arrived in a truck as big as a house it’s self, and again I believe that I detailed this in an earlier email. The whole thing went quite well really – save the hole kicked in the bedroom wall by one of the guys! I was going round the house seeing how things were going, & moved the bed in one of the spare rooms. As I did so, I saw a ruddy great hole in the wall at skirting board level. In fact the top of said skirting board was also damaged! To say I was a little upset, would be to put it mildly & for the sake of the lady readers, I won’t regurgitate the string of monosyllabic Anglo Saxon that the driver received! For the time being said hole is covered by the bed, & will have to be repaired in due course. Bill being sent to moving company – of course!

With our 1½ pints jammed into our 70’s retro 1pint pot, we set about unpacking. The house has never had a serious ‘face lift’ since it was built in the early 70’s, so there is a serious lack of storage space. I guess women didn’t shop as much then as they do now…………, and we are now learning to live without our beloved walk in closets – even I managed to fill mine in the old place. How things change, I remember as a young man on my first RAF posting my wardrobe consisted of an old sweater, jeans, & motorbike boots! Anyway, I dragged my heals for two days then on the weekend, we blitzed the place & everything was out of box's, or repacked into another box then either consigned to the basement, or unwanted box’s ready for disposal.

We even managed our first shot at the local grocery store – Safeway – and learn all over again to substitute our known brands/goods with ‘local’ alternatives. Six & a half years of living in the ‘land of plenty’ has thoroughly spoiled us, & we found ourselves going round the supermarket constantly comparing with our previous shop - Ukrops. There was nothing like the range or variety that we had become used too, but I dare say in a few months we’ll have forgotten what we used to shop for. Except David's wonderful Beef Wellingtons!!!!!!!

Whilst buying some fresh Trout, we had a chat with the lady behind the counter – very helpful & friendly. She went on to ask if I have ever fished for trout. The nearest I ever got was a trout hatchery near Basingstoke Hants. Here my kids Simon & Gemma fed the trout which were swimming in keep ponds, & we picked a couple of ‘big buggers’ for the plate. So, no was my short answer. It seems that fishing for trout here is carried out in the lakes & suitable trout rivers, but not just by the landed gentry!

She then went on to ask if we had ever tried ice fishing. I pondered for a moment then told her that there wasn’t much call for that in Virginia, or the UK. To me, ice fishing was pulling them from the freezer! I don’t think that’s what she meant! She then went on to tell Wendy & I that the best time of year to ice hole fish was Feb & Mar. This is when the waters were cold, & the fish tasted better. The next bit had us rolling though. Apparently as spring approaches & the sun comes up, it gets very sunny out on the ice. Sufficient to be in shorts & T shirt, round a BONFIRE!!!!!!!!! Has no one told them, this is ICE, it bloody well melts under heat. Jeeze, a couple of ice cubes in a drink melts fast enough, but light a ruddy fire on top………………………….. All fun aside, it sounds great fun & I can’t wait to let Wendy try it, then come back to let me know how she got on!

As I previously mentioned, we have dubbed the ‘ole’ place the ‘retro house’. It has a couple of amusing characteristics about it, which are worth the telling. The front of the house faces south, and as such catches a lot of sunshine. To the Brits in the audience, winter sunshine isn’t grey & miserable & ‘hissing’ down with rain! This stuff is quite invigorating, & lots of it. Edmonton has more hours of sunshine than just about anywhere else in Canada – yo Edmonton! This is very pleasant, but a bit of a bugger for the occupants of the 3 bedrooms on that elevation – including ours. This is obviously not a new observation, as all three rooms are fitted with blackout roller blinds!

Now keeping in mind that this is the retro house, the blinds were probably fitted ‘several’ years ago, & now a touché past their best. In our room, the blind takes careful coaxing to withdraw onto the roller. Being tall & able to follow its retreat is a positive bonus. Wendy’s efforts are less controlled & have a more spectacular outcome. Tugging the blind further & further down to encourage the recoil. Then all of a sudden, the thing springs into life & rattles toward the ceiling at a great rate of knots, wrapping round & round the pole finally coming to rest almost out of reach. To which my dear wife utters an ‘ooops’! I have given up on the other two blinds. That will be down to future guests – you have been warned.

Then there was the euphemistically named, ‘automatic garage door opener’. This thing looks similar to the one I left behind in the Burg, though the details on the side of this model are written in latin! It was obvious from the ‘box’ suspended beneath the motor mechanism by a couple of wires, that this ‘device’ had not initially been installed with a remote facility. A wire ran back from said mechanism, to a door bell type button near the door into the house. This meant a laborious navigation exercise had to be carried out each & every time we took a car out of the garage. Push button, crank open door, drive car out, return into garage, press button to close, exit house by front door!

Now, I lived in the land of instant gratification for way too long to tolerate this process for very long. A short telephone call with the landlord’s handyman produced the promise of resolving the situation. In the mean while, we persisted with running in & out of the house. A couple of days later the handyman returned with a possible solution & a funny little remote, the likes of which I had never seen before. A black box the size of a matchbox, with one small white button in the centre!

This was nothing like the swish key fob type remote that I had become accustomed to, with the facility to operate 3 x remote ‘thingies’! All be it I had only ever operated to garage door, there was still the ‘possibility’ that I could find yet more for it to open! Modern or not, the ruddy thing didn’t work & said handyman disappeared with remote in one hand, & previously mentioned ‘box’ - now removed from the motor. With a promise to return ‘soon’ he was off!

In order to shorten this marathon door closing process, I decided that a quick experiment was in order! As I was already going out in the Jeep which was now on the drive, I stretched my arm out, touched the ‘door bell’ button on the wall which set the door in motion. I moved ‘swiftly’ (keep the comments to yourselves please) toward the closing door, aiming to duck under before I had to perform a lengthways body roll under the door. Fortunately, the door moved with about the same speed & agility as me, and I extricated myself from the garage without ending up on my arse! I passed this useful information onto Wendy & come the weekend, she also experienced the ‘garage door trot’!

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end & handyman eventually returned with a further solution to the problem. After a little simple wiring, we now have remote garage door openers on sun visor clips. The range has something to be desired though! In our VA home, you could operate the door from a good 200’ from the house. This version requires you to almost ram the door, in order to be close enough for the remote to operate. Still it does the job, but no where near as entertaining as watching Wendy hit the door button at the far end of the garage & ‘scurry’ beneath the closing door! Ahhh, the simple pleasures of life.

Ok, this has been quite a lengthy inaugural piece, I’ll try to use a little less ‘verbage’ in future. I hope you find my 'offering' enjoyable, & look forward to comments – but only if they are complimentary. Otherwise, keep them to your self & open your own ruddy blog! I’ll see if I can include some photos on the site, failing that I have created a new album in Snapfish & I’ll send out the details.

Hope everyone is keeping well, & to steal a closing line from a much loved Irish comedian, ‘good night & may your God go with you’.